35lbs and Counting

As it turns out the "alleged pregnancy" was in fact a very real pregnancy.

In fact, 25 weeks and 35lbs later...the classic pregnancy woes are in full throttle.

"My body isn't my own..."

"Where did my waist go?"

"Will my boobs ever be the same size again?"

"Will I ever be 'thin' again?"

(and in lieu of that, "how the hell is that going to happen?!")

"Will my sex drive ever return?"

While pregnant with Eliza, I was sick for 9 months and gained.......90 POUNDS. Very much a frequent in NYC's Crumbs Bake Shop and Brother Jimmy's, I took the whole 'eating for two' concept to the next level.

This go, I've been 'better'...it helps that we live in the middle or nowhere so the accessibility of easy food is obsolete. For the most part I've been making my meals and trying to occasion to have a salad or two. Thankfully, this pregnancy is much better than the last. Perhaps it's because I'm not carrying around an extra 90lbs, perhaps it's because I don't have preclampsia or perhaps it is because little baby #2 is a BOY...who knows?! Feeling good, feeling strong, will not let my pregnancy weight define me. grr.

My "Alleged" Pregnancy

I am 'Allegedly' knocked up, again.

A few months ago, June 22nd to be exact. The dog bit the Babysitter. Our emotionally unstable mutt from Tennessee Rescue whom we had had 1 month exactly.....(because why wouldn't you adopt an emotional unstable mutt from Tennessee?!) ANYWAYS, "Moose" decided to bite the babysitter as Mama Ro, was walking into the Gyn Office to have her annual and get some BC...literally seconds before I was about to walk into the Doctor's office, the sitter calls me crying, I run home, pass her over to her Mom (awkward...) and then drop Mr. Emotional Unstable Moose Dog off at the rescue groups shelter (sorry Bud)

The next day, Eliza and Mama fly to Michigan for a week- Mama sans Birth control. With the 'lets make it legal lovefest' 6 weeks away, I REEAAALLLY didn't want to start in the middle of a cycle...get all fat and crazy... etc etc...listen, it made sense in my head!

Then July 29th comes around and Mama Ro/Bride to Be gets her Pamela Anderson extensions for the Wedding...in case you haven't heard I tend to be a bipolar hippy/diva. Senor Blanco comes home from work sees that his stressed out babymama/bride to be has been replaced with a super sexy, somewhat less stressed baby mama with long LONG blond locks. Lets just say 'Daddy likey'.....

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ baby! tbc~

Officially a Housewife

It's 4:41pm. I'm sitting in my living room, sipping on an 'Izze' watching my 15 month old walk around her play area a bit dazed because of a slight fever. I feel 'the guilt' already.

a. Why am I not preparing a well balanced dinner for my baby.

b. Why am I drinking a 90 calorie Izze instead of water.

c. It's 4:40pm and I haven't done anything of worth today.

1. What did I even do today?

d. How did I not go to the gym this week?!

The list goes on and on and these are just the tip of the iceberg.

I have been married for 6 days.

I have been a Mother for 15 1/2 months ( 24 months, if you include pregnancy)

I have been 'involved' for 3 1/2 years.

*******************

5:52pm- I've fed my sick daughter which entailed making her 'Chickenless Chickn' Nuggets' and carrots, most of which I ate. She had a Popsicle.

My 20 year old sister is here for the weekend paying tribute to her sister lost in the woods. After sleeping off a summer of partying and a crazy night in the city with her boyfriend, I shoved Ms. Eliza in her face, "Aunt Riri, it's bathtime!!!"

Cheers to 10 minutes of solitude.

Again I think, 'what have I done all day?' and then the scrolling begins again in my mind...

e. Why did I eat my daughter's Chicknless Chickn' Nuggets

f. Why did I have that handful (or 3) of the BBQ potato chips....

I have often looked at 'Moms' as worn out ole wenches....tired with no zest. I vowed never to be one of those Moms. I would be the sexy/beautiful (without trying of course)/outdoorsy/adventure Moms who never left the house without her hair done, her make up done just so and the perfect smile, just for her kiddos (of course)

I say this to you now, that shit is hard! I started off this journey of Mamahood with a slight disadvantage- and extra 90 POUNDS! I blame the horrific pregnancy condition 'preclamsia'.... ok, ok, I also blame the very kind waitstaff at ALL of the NYC Brother Jimmy's locations for never EVER making me feel bad about showing up many a times twice in a day for a the chicken/rib combo, I also blame Crumbs Cupcakes, my evil coworkers (Disclaimer: I say this with love) who used me and my fat pregnant arse to clear their vindications about a quick juant to the bakery...not.fair. i guess

baby needs me, gotta go!

I was once

An

Upper
East
Side
Baby
Mama
.

There, I said it.